As I have been preparing to release this jewelry collection, I’ve gone in circles many times about what I want the significance to be for the wearer and how I want them to feel and the type of energy I’d like for them to tap into when they wear the jewelry. However there was one piece that was missing in my thinking about the connection between jewelry and wearer, and that is the connection between maker and jewelry.
That is the piece that I’d like to illuminate here. It’s one that I hadn’t even considered because it was buried so deep. Buried under layers of scars. I was only able to see the connection between me and this jewelry collection by winding through another topic: Tarot. A friend recently asked me what Tarot means to me and so I began to tell them in my round about way, and before long I was sharing the story of one of the most powerful Tarot moments I’ve ever had. It was the moment that I connected with Tarot on a deep level.
A few years ago close friend who is a gifted Tarot reader offered me a free reading for a holiday such as my birthday or New Year’s (I can’t remember which). I was excited but skeptical, since I had never had a “good” Tarot reading before. The first card in my spread was the High Priestess card. She was in the “Where you’ve been” position.
Now my friend knew the details of the separation and divorce I was going through, but the words that came out of her mouth as she interpreted that card in that position in the spread in the context of my life, well, it was as though she were reading my innermost soul. I felt witnessed. Seen. Understood. Finally.
After months and months of being second guessed, and suspected, and whispered about, and made to feel a morally depraved villain, even though I tried to take the moral high road at every turn during the divorce. I’d never felt so validated as tears streamed down my face.
I didn’t realize how close I had been to breaking at that point. Breaking under the strain of social and emotional pressure, and of crippling guilt and self doubt. Self doubt about whether divorce was the right decision, guilt about what it was doing to my kids, doubt about whether we were divorcing the “right” way (wow sometimes your brain just comes up with the craziest stuff). But seeing the priestess poised and radiant staring up at me simultaneously told me that it was ok to feel all those things, and that despite all my misgivings I had handled myself in the best way that I possibly could through a very difficult process with strength and integrity.
Part of me did break seeing the Priestess’s shining face, knowing her radiance was somehow associated with such a dark time in my life and hearing my friend’s validating interpretation. But it also remade me. I felt so honored and humbled and warm. Her glow suffused me and it gave me strength to carry on through the rebuilding and restructuring part of the divorce.
So without realizing it, I created a jewelry collection with rays of light as the central design element, and somehow thought that I was going to be able to tell a story about some other priestess on some other golden path. Sometimes I’m dense. I’ll admit it. My path wasn’t straight or golden, it was winding and dark, but walk it I did and I think waaaay deep down I was paying homage to that shining Priestess card that I feel I owe so much to. She was a lifeline at a pivotal moment and so as much as she honored me, I needed to honor her.
I hope you enjoy the Priestess collection as much as I enjoyed creating it, and I hope that the strength that carried me on my journey to create it gives you strength on your journey.